Week 7: The Fear Challenge

Week 7

How can you prepare yourself for the inevitability of fear and resistance? What can you do to challenge fear and re-frame it into something useful in this process of finding your passion?

Write down ideas and practical actions you can take when fear or resistance creep in or launch a surprise attack. Keep your actions handy so you can reach for them when needed.


As we know, fear and resistance are inevitable, but its what we do in the face of fear and resistance that matters. In May of 2012, I attended Anthony Robbin's workshop, Unleash The Power Within and there, we did the firewalk. The act of walking on hot coals itself is nothing short of amazing, more importantly, it's the metaphor of what the firewalk represents. It challenges your beliefs, if you can walk on fire, what can you not do?

Over the next few days, we were taught various techniques that we can use to empower ourselves. One of the crucial technique is changing your physiology, your body language. How we carry ourselves has an effect on our psychology, for example, when you slouch or droop your shoulders, you'll probably be feeling down but change your posture and stand up straight and stand with purpose and you can instantly feel the difference.

Basically, when you are faced with a challenge, stand up to it, don't back down, say, "Bring it! I'm ready!". It also helps when you have an "action" that can help to pysch you up. Like Nike said, Just Do It.

Week 6: Resistance and Fear

Week 6

"Where do you feel resistance around finding and living your life passion? Where and how are you pushing back against doing this creative work? What fears are attached to your resistance?

Complete the following sentence as many times as you can until you run out of answers: "I am showing resistance to finding my passion by ... "

Now do the same for this statement: "I am resistant because I am afraid that ... "


So, let's get started.

First, I am showing resistance to finding my passion by...

• procrastinating
• inconsistency
• not believing in myself
• caring too much about what others say
• 
  

I am resistant because I am afraid that

• I will fail
• I am not worthy
• I am not capable enough
• I will be laughed at
• 
  
• 
  

Somehow these kind of questions always make me come up with blanks. Maybe it's because I've always been positive minded. But I do recognise that my biggest problem is procrastination and inconsistency and I am still working towards overcoming them.

Getting back on track

Week 5

"Think about your current beliefs related to finding and having a life passion. Do you believe it is possible to have a life passion? Do you believe it is worthwhile to look for it?

Write down all your current ideas and beliefs about finding and living your life passion. Are you willing to dismiss, or at least back-burner, those ideas for now? Can you start fresh with no pre-conceived notions?"

First of all, I have to say that I have slacked for two or three weeks. There is no use giving excuses as I have only myself to blame, the best thing I can do is just to get back on track with this Week 5 task. Before that, I have read Barrie Davenport's "The Passion Myths" which is quite an eye opener.

http://www.barriedavenport.com/freeguide/

My answer for the first part of the task is, yes, in fact, I firmly believe that everyone has a life passion, only some may not have noticed or have not discovered it yet. I also believe that when you a life passion, it makes your life that much more meaningful, it gives you fulfillment and it bring you joy. With all these, why would it not be worthwhile to look for that life passion.


Some people are lucky enough that they naturally find their life passion, they are the ones that feel energized every morning and they're excited to start off their day. That's because they are passionate about what they do. Others may not be so lucky. Some of us would have to make a conscious effort to search for our own passion and some will find it. I myself is still searching for my own passion but I do have a rough idea as to which direction I need to go. I feel that there's a big chance that my passion would involve some form of coaching, maybe a fitness coach, or a life coach, or both. Plans would have to be made in order to bring me closer to achieving them.

One misconception about living a life with passion is that, and this is mentioned in The Passion Myths, we need to quit our daytime job in order to live my passion. For me, I still have about 4 months till I graduate from University, and maybe a further 2 or 3 months before I start my working life. The way I look at it, it is still possible to live your passion with a full time job. Your passion can be a part-time work that fills up a few hours of the rest of the day. When I imagined myself as a coach, I see myself meeting up with my clients after I am finished with my day time job. I do admit it may be tiring, but the sense of fulfillment you get from it will more than make up for it.

All I can say is that, Impossible is Nothing. As long as you believe, there will be a way to achieve your dreams, your passion. Don't give up. Try and try again and one day, you will find your life passion. As I will too.

What's Changed Since Childhood

Week 4 : What's Changed Since Childhood

"Write down every one of the limiting beliefs and fears you've carried from childhood. Are they still true for you or even partially true? Really? How are they not true? What is the evidence you have from today, this time of your life, that they are no longer true?"

As a child, most of us have the illusion that to become successful, you'll have to leave work early and come home late, working behind the desk, looking at a computer screen all day. Family members played a big part in this, watching them go to work and come back, everyday seemed to be just the same routine. But as I grew older, I realised that, working from day to night doesn't make you successful.

To me, success means doing what you love, having no financial worries, and having family and friends that support you. Sitting behind a desk all day definitely doesn't fit into my vision of success. As of now, I'm working on acquiring a new set of skills that would allow me to break free from the monotonous routine. Coaching, to be specific. I have a feeling that it would be something that I would really enjoy doing; helping others in achieving their goals. I may not be able to do it full time straight off, but I can start part time and slowly work my way up. 

Another one of my limiting belief was that I'm satisfied with 'just enough'. This applies academically, since young, I have been doing well in school. It seemed that even without putting in too much effort, I could score well in exams. My results were not the best in class but knowing that I passed, I was satisfied. 

Now, I've started thinking about what would happen if I put all my effort into it? What would my result be like? I'm coming to the end of my studying life and could be the last chance for me to prove myself. That is why I'm working as hard as I can. It's not a contest with the other course mates but a battle with myself. To show that by putting in hard work, nothing is impossible. 

For now, these are the only limiting beliefs I can think of. If I do think about more, I will come back and add on to this. 

Childhood Limitations

Week 3

"How did those around you (parents, teachers, peers, etc.) impact your childhood passions? Were your passions and interests supported and encouraged or stunted in some way?

What did "those in power" tell you about yourself as a child that has limited you, made you fearful or held you back? write down these limitations and what you might have done as a child if you weren't held back for some reason."

Thinking back to the childhood memories that came up, the limitations, if any, were most probably have been self-imposed ones. I'm very grateful to say that I have loving parents, especially my mum, that gave me support and encouragement as a child pursuing my interests. 

She would buy me books for me to read, sometimes without me even asking. As I grew older, my taste in books gradually changed; from children's books to books like Da Vinci Code. My dad was the one who introduced to the book Rich Dad Poor Dad, which changed my way of thinking and from there I was hungry for more. From where I came from, it was quite hard to find good books and if there were any, they were rather expensive. So whenever my parents travel out of Brunei, they would look for books that I would have liked. They fed my hunger and allowed me to grow intellectually.

My mum was also very supportive when I got into architectural origami; she got me the supplies that I needed to start off on my projects and when I'm done, she would give words of compliments and encouragement. Thank you, Mum. 

There was also a time when I used to dance a lot with a group. That was where a brotherhood began, but as time went on, each of us had to go our separate ways. However, two of them are now my closest friends. When we first started dancing, we had a teacher that helped us find our way. She introduced us to a studio and pretty soon, we were really good friends with the dance instructors there. They gave us pointers and advice on how we could dance better. All in all, you could say my childhood was filled with support and encouragement from different walks of life.

Any limitations that might have came up would surely be self-imposed. Thoughts about what people would think as 'right' or 'good' could discourage you in someway. Thought like, "I'm not good enough", could damage your confidence and self-esteem. To a certain extent, this was what happened to me, but I would say that the main factor was my habit of procrastination. I used to put off doing stuff until it got to the point that I can't be bothered to start on it anymore. That is why I'm making a conscious effort now to change that habit in order to create a better future.

Childhood Memories

I sat down in my thinking chair, closed my eyes and counted to ten with each breath. Feeling calm, I thought back to times of my childhood when I felt joy. Flashes of images came running through my head. I caught glimpses of each one. 

As I tried to focus on the first ones that appeared, they were memories of me reading books. Reading books used to be my way of getting away from the real world, into my own world where the details were created bit by bit as I read through the book. At times, I found myself staring off into space when I was reading, caught up in the magical world that I have created inside my head. I could be anything; a soldier, a gladiator, a character in a fairy tale. Imagination was the only limit to what I can become in my world.

Then there were the memories of me creating things like artworks and origami. I used to take art as a subject in school. It wasn't my best subject, but I found it interesting (the awesome idea I have in mind usually don't translate very well onto paper). I remember getting some comic books, then going home and drawing the characters in the books. This was something I loved doing. Our art teacher was great in encouraging us to develop our skills and exposing us to different styles of art. He was someone that I looked up to and respected and played a great part in this phase of my life. 

Origami was another thing that I loved doing as a child. I have no idea how this started but there was a point when i was carrying a small "briefcase", and I would just fold and fold and fold and fill it up with paper cranes. As I grew older, I began searching for more challenging things to make. I had origami books and I could pretty much do everything in them. Thinking back, I realised that being in love gave me great ideas, in other words, love fueled my creativity. Here's an example of what I did when I was in love.

Why do..

birds, suddenly appear?

Every time you are near.

Just like me

They long to be

Close to you.

Why do stars

fall down from the sky

Every time, you walk by.

Just like me,

They long to be

Close to you

On the day that you were born

The angels got together,

And decided to create a dream come true,

So they sprinkle moon dust in your hair of gold.

And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the boys in town,

Follow you

all around.

Just like me

They long to be

Close to you

That certainly brought back some bitter sweet memories, but moving on. I also got into something called architectural origami. These were probably the most time consuming projects that I have gotten into. A big part of it involves patiently cutting out the pieces and when you're done cutting, you would then have to slowly fold everything into place so that they would fold nicely in half and turn into a pop-up when you opened it up. I can remember sitting back and with a sigh of relief after I'm done with each one.

This model of Sagrada Familia was probably the one that took the longest. 

To sum it all up, I guess in general, I loved creating things, whether its a book or an artwork. Its the process of creation that moved me, the anticipation of what the end result would be like. And when it does come out the way you want it to, nothing can beat the satisfaction that you feel from that.

P.S. A small part of me was into puzzles during my childhood. A type of puzzle called "Fill-it-ins", in particular. It's very similar to a crossword puzzles, but you are given all the words and you have to fit them all in into the grid.

Week 2 Task

"Close your eyes and breathe in for a count of ten. When you feel peaceful and calm, and with your eyes closed, go back to your childhood.

Think about some of your happiest childhood memories - when you were in the flow, lost in time because you were so engaged in the moment. What were you doing? How did you feel? What did you love about those moments and events?

Describe those moments and tease out the elements of each that brought you the most profound joy."


I have a feeling that this task will bring a bit more difficulty as somehow my childhood memories seemed blurred. Nevertheless, I will set aside some quiet alone time to ponder on this.