Sunday 27 January 2013

Childhood Limitations

Week 3

"How did those around you (parents, teachers, peers, etc.) impact your childhood passions? Were your passions and interests supported and encouraged or stunted in some way?

What did "those in power" tell you about yourself as a child that has limited you, made you fearful or held you back? write down these limitations and what you might have done as a child if you weren't held back for some reason."

Thinking back to the childhood memories that came up, the limitations, if any, were most probably have been self-imposed ones. I'm very grateful to say that I have loving parents, especially my mum, that gave me support and encouragement as a child pursuing my interests. 

She would buy me books for me to read, sometimes without me even asking. As I grew older, my taste in books gradually changed; from children's books to books like Da Vinci Code. My dad was the one who introduced to the book Rich Dad Poor Dad, which changed my way of thinking and from there I was hungry for more. From where I came from, it was quite hard to find good books and if there were any, they were rather expensive. So whenever my parents travel out of Brunei, they would look for books that I would have liked. They fed my hunger and allowed me to grow intellectually.

My mum was also very supportive when I got into architectural origami; she got me the supplies that I needed to start off on my projects and when I'm done, she would give words of compliments and encouragement. Thank you, Mum. 

There was also a time when I used to dance a lot with a group. That was where a brotherhood began, but as time went on, each of us had to go our separate ways. However, two of them are now my closest friends. When we first started dancing, we had a teacher that helped us find our way. She introduced us to a studio and pretty soon, we were really good friends with the dance instructors there. They gave us pointers and advice on how we could dance better. All in all, you could say my childhood was filled with support and encouragement from different walks of life.

Any limitations that might have came up would surely be self-imposed. Thoughts about what people would think as 'right' or 'good' could discourage you in someway. Thought like, "I'm not good enough", could damage your confidence and self-esteem. To a certain extent, this was what happened to me, but I would say that the main factor was my habit of procrastination. I used to put off doing stuff until it got to the point that I can't be bothered to start on it anymore. That is why I'm making a conscious effort now to change that habit in order to create a better future.

Monday 21 January 2013

Childhood Memories

I sat down in my thinking chair, closed my eyes and counted to ten with each breath. Feeling calm, I thought back to times of my childhood when I felt joy. Flashes of images came running through my head. I caught glimpses of each one. 



As I tried to focus on the first ones that appeared, they were memories of me reading books. Reading books used to be my way of getting away from the real world, into my own world where the details were created bit by bit as I read through the book. At times, I found myself staring off into space when I was reading, caught up in the magical world that I have created inside my head. I could be anything; a soldier, a gladiator, a character in a fairy tale. Imagination was the only limit to what I can become in my world.


Then there were the memories of me creating things like artworks and origami. I used to take art as a subject in school. It wasn't my best subject, but I found it interesting (the awesome idea I have in mind usually don't translate very well onto paper). I remember getting some comic books, then going home and drawing the characters in the books. This was something I loved doing. Our art teacher was great in encouraging us to develop our skills and exposing us to different styles of art. He was someone that I looked up to and respected and played a great part in this phase of my life. 

Origami was another thing that I loved doing as a child. I have no idea how this started but there was a point when i was carrying a small "briefcase", and I would just fold and fold and fold and fill it up with paper cranes. As I grew older, I began searching for more challenging things to make. I had origami books and I could pretty much do everything in them. Thinking back, I realised that being in love gave me great ideas, in other words, love fueled my creativity. Here's an example of what I did when I was in love.
Why do..
birds, suddenly appear?
Every time you are near.
Just like me
They long to be
Close to you.
Why do stars
fall down from the sky
Every time, you walk by.
Just like me,
They long to be
Close to you
On the day that you were born

The angels got together,
And decided to create a dream come true,

So they sprinkle moon dust in your hair of gold.
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the boys in town,

Follow you
all around.
Just like me

They long to be
Close to you


That certainly brought back some bitter sweet memories, but moving on. I also got into something called architectural origami. These were probably the most time consuming projects that I have gotten into. A big part of it involves patiently cutting out the pieces and when you're done cutting, you would then have to slowly fold everything into place so that they would fold nicely in half and turn into a pop-up when you opened it up. I can remember sitting back and with a sigh of relief after I'm done with each one.

This model of Sagrada Familia was probably the one that took the longest. 

To sum it all up, I guess in general, I loved creating things, whether its a book or an artwork. Its the process of creation that moved me, the anticipation of what the end result would be like. And when it does come out the way you want it to, nothing can beat the satisfaction that you feel from that.

P.S. A small part of me was into puzzles during my childhood. A type of puzzle called "Fill-it-ins", in particular. It's very similar to a crossword puzzles, but you are given all the words and you have to fit them all in into the grid.



Thursday 17 January 2013

Week 2 Task

"Close your eyes and breathe in for a count of ten. When you feel peaceful and calm, and with your eyes closed, go back to your childhood.

Think about some of your happiest childhood memories - when you were in the flow, lost in time because you were so engaged in the moment. What were you doing? How did you feel? What did you love about those moments and events?

Describe those moments and tease out the elements of each that brought you the most profound joy."


I have a feeling that this task will bring a bit more difficulty as somehow my childhood memories seemed blurred. Nevertheless, I will set aside some quiet alone time to ponder on this.

Thursday 10 January 2013

Week 1: Whats nagging you?

The task for Week 1 is this:

"What is nagging at you? What feelings or thoughts are you having that indicate there is something more, something that will make you come alive? How is your life passion knocking on the door of your soul, asking to be uncovered? What awareness do you have about your desires to find your life passion?"

Have you ever had the feeling that there is more to life that just living aimlessly day by day? That there is more that just going to work, or going to school or uni everyday. I believe that everyone is born with a purpose and that we are meant to find that purpose and fulfill it. 


When we have found that purpose, our lives will become more meaningful. We will feel more content, more grateful with what we have in life. I also believe that each person's purpose will be something that person loves doing, so in finding the purpose, happiness and fulfillment will naturally be found. This is where the life passion lies.


On the 30th of December 2012, I went for a palm reading from a gypsy named Amalia Lavengra. She had a lovely little carriage that she does her readings in. I had to wait about half an hour in the cold for my turn, and I was preparing myself for any negative readings she might give. Now, I know some people might be skeptical about these kind of things, but I looked at it with an open mind, telling myself not to take it too seriously. When it was finally my turn, I went in and sat down. I asked for a reading and suffice to say, her readings were all positive comments (The friends that I have told this to all said, "She says that to everyone". Might be true, we'll never know.). 


What was significant about this was, that after the reading, my mind was racing, trying to process what I've just been told. This triggered something in me. Its the realisation that I have in me all along, all that I need to be successful. This is also when a spark ignited in me, a desire to find my life passion. 


This was when I heard it, it was loud and it wanted my attention badly. This was my life passion, banging on the door of my soul, asking to be let into my life. At the moment, I do not have the key that would allow me to open that door and let my passion in. This is what my project will be about, finding the key to opening this door.



The 52-week Life Passion Project.

Just before New Year's eve of 2012, on the 30th of December, something happened that changed the way I think. And as I was looking through my email, I stumbled upon a mail that led me to Barrie Davenport's book, The 52-week Life Passion Project. I was pretty excited and bought the book straight away. Could it be just a coincidence that i find this book? Perhaps. But I had a feeling that it was what I have been looking for.


On the 8th of January, my book finally arrived. I couldn't wait to get started on it. Knowing that it would be a year-long project, I wanted to take it slow and go though each week carefully. So I read the first chapter before going to sleep, planning to ponder upon what the upcoming task was on my bed. As i was reading, the idea of writing up a blog for this journey struck me. And hence, this is where I will be sharing my journey for all to see.

I would like to give a special shout out to two of my closest friends. The three of us share the vision of bright future. One where we pave our own path towards success. I hope they would go on this amazing journey with me and together we shall uncover our life passion.